“Not knowing why our son died is heartbreaking” The tragic loss of a couple without any answer
Gary and Trinity Tuttle were like every other expectant parent in April 2021: nervous but thrilled to meet their baby. For the couple, this pregnancy was very special as it happened after five unsuccessful IVF cycles.
They were shopping for outfits, getting the nursery ready and planning family visits soon after their baby arrived. But at 40 weeks, the future couple suffered a tragic loss when they discovered their baby was no longer alive in the womb.
Trinity, 33, gave birth to their son, Orion. Since their loss, the couple have had no answers as to why their son died.
Read more: “Our baby girl would be alive today if we hadn’t been abandoned by maternity services”.
The week before their baby was born, the couple, from Wokingham, checked into hospital as Trinity suffered what she thought were Braxton Hicks contractions. Although there was still movement, they couldn’t feel the same kicks they were used to throughout the pregnancy.
At the hospital, doctors were unable to find a heartbeat for their baby. The news was incredibly painful, and Trinity and Gary had to decide how to give birth, knowing that their child would be stillborn.
Gary, 39, said: “It was so surreal. The pain is unbelievable and the questions are endless – how did this happen, what did we do wrong? You feel helpless and helpless We were sent home that night to think about what we We both called our parents to tell them Then we just lay on the bed There was no way we would fall asleep
Around 1 a.m., Trinity started bleeding and the couple returned to the hospital. They were checked into a private room overnight and were due to see a consultant in the morning. Over the next two days, Trinity and Gary spoke to a number of consultants about their options for giving birth.
On Sunday, April 4, Trinity gave birth via caesarean section. It was an emotional time for Gary and Trinity, who met their baby boy in the hospital recovery room. Gary said: “It was a very emotional moment and there were a lot of tears when we found out we had a baby boy. We were so excited and in love with him from the moment we found out we were pregnant , and now we finally got to hold him and see him. We were able to spend the next two days with Orion in the hospital. We were in our own little bubble – just us, and our closest friends. and our family.
Trinity and Gary felt they needed answers as to why their son had sadly passed away. So they made the decision to take Orion from Wokingham to Oxford for an autopsy. Even so, they knew they were unlikely to get all the answers they needed – up to 60% of stillbirths are still unexplained. Gary said: “Once we got home we just cried. Everything we used to do, we didn’t want to. We didn’t want to see or talk to anyone and we shut the world down. Everything what we had planned was shattered and our lives seemed so empty, sometimes it was hard to see the point of anything.
After the autopsy, Trinity and Gary were able to keep their son home for a day in a cold crib. They dressed him in a new onesie and took him for a ride in the pram – all the things they were looking forward to doing with their new baby. Over the next four days, the family was able to visit Orion at the funeral home as they made arrangements to say their goodbyes.
These were the most difficult times in the couple’s life. Trinity and Gary suffered unimaginable grief and struggled a lot to leave home. Gary lost his passion for racing and didn’t want to see anyone. He said: “No parent ever wants to have their baby’s funeral, and that’s one of the hardest things we’ve found. Our minister was amazing, though, and did most of the work. , so we only had to make minimal decisions.
“Normally I used to run a lot, but I didn’t feel like it at the time. Trin encouraged me to run, but it was difficult. We had spent a week in our small hospital room, without I didn’t want to leave Trin alone and I didn’t want to be away from her If I went out I wanted to be alone, but most of the time I had no motivation to do so.
When the autopsy results came back, the news was not what they had hoped for. Everything is back to normal. Trinity and Gary would never know why their son had died days before he was born.
Now Gary supports Tommy’s – a charity dedicated to supporting parents during pregnancy and identifying how pregnancies can go wrong. They aim to make the UK the safest place in the world to have a baby.
This year Gary will run four 100 mile races and four 50 mile races in memory of Orion. He has so far raised over £8,500 on his fundraising page, aiming to reach £10,000 for Tommy’s.